Tickets to see Martin are in my possession. I can hardly wait. Or is it can’t hardly wait?
Dear Listener! I can hardly believe we get to see him - in person!
Big happenings over here, people. The listener started college!
I think it’s so great. So great! She even gets to practice her reading! And she’s doing advanced math! And she got a backpack. Holy crap!
We’ve been at work together lately, but we’ve had no time to read. At all. On Saturday we spent nearly the entire day working about 8 feet apart, but still didn’t have time for me to grab the book and start reading. Instead I baked cookies and she served said cookies (and other assorted baked treats) to the treat-hungry people of Portland.
But, before Saturday we had this one day where I got to read to her and here’s how it went:
In the particular passage we read Martin talks about being in college himself and having a few moments of clarity regarding his act. Basically he realizes that in order to be truly original he’d have to write every single line of his act himself. Instead of lifting from other acts or from books. This basically meant Martin would be rebuilding his act from the ground up. A daunting task, indeed.
The pressure to start over (or to start at all) really struck a chord with the listener - we actually read this passage the weekend before she was planning to start school. Here’s what she said:
I start school on Monday.
I feel anxiety for him.
I’m anxious.
I’m happy to report that the listener made it through the first week of school and she’s still at it…
…and we obviously know how things worked out for Martin.
(keep this in mind, JB.)
There’s so much to talk about.
First of all:
Hey, you! That guy the listener used to work with at UPS: She’s alive and well! I know she owes you a long phone call and probably a txt or two, but she’s been real busy. Her mother and her sister are in town visiting! All three tall ladies in one town at one time. It’s as insane as it sounds!
And the rest of you! Sorry. Work keeps getting in the way of our reading time. And sometimes I like to go home before I’ve been at work for 13 straight hours. I keep thinking it would be so awesome if the listener could meet me at work at 4:00 am someday - we’d brew a pot of coffee and readandreadandread until everyone else showed up for work. All quiet and peaceful and caffeinated. Just the two of us and Martin.
But only truly crazy people get up that early. And the listener isn’t truly crazy.
So, what’s happened since I did that huge math equation? Well, I sharpened my pencil. I baked a lot of stuff. And the listener asked lots of people if they’d like a copy of their receipt. And probably rode her bike. And most likely tidied up her apartment.
Why?
BECAUSE HER MOTHER CAME TO VISIT. AND SO DID HER SISTER!
I met both of them today and they are the exact women you expect them to be. The three together are a juggernaut (which is loosely defined as a massive inexorable force that crushes whatever is in its path, but only loosely.) All three are very smart ladies. And all three are real talkers. And all three have an electric-like energy that just wouldn’t stop buzzing. My kind of women! If it’s possible for you to spend any amount of time with any of them, I highly suggest it. And if you can get all three in one place at one time, you’d be stupid to miss it.
Now, let’s find out what Martin is up to…
We’ve got him working at the Bird Cage Theater of Knott’s Berry Farm. Then he leaves the Bird Cage, he’s attending college, he’s performing at more and more nightclubs. He knows he doesn’t want to be called a magician. He knows he DOES want to be called a comedian.
He says:
Stand-up comedy felt like an open door. It was possible to assemble a few minutes of material and be onstage that week (at local folk clubs), as opposed to standing in line in some mysterious world in Hollywood, getting no response, no phone calls returned, and no opportunity to perform.
The listener really liked the above bit.
She also liked this bit:
I discovered it was not magic I was interested in but performing in general. Why?…Was my ego out of control and looking for glory? I don’t think so; I am fundamentally shy and still feel slightly embarrassed at disproportionate attention. My answer to this question is simple: Who wouldn’t want to be in show business?
The listener says, “That being embarrassed at too much attention? That’s actually something I struggle with. I hate being singled out.” Then we had a deep talk about things I’m not going to share here. Sorry.
I’ll leave you with this:
After our last reading, the listener and the vice president did a series of yoga poses. I sat and watched. And laughed. And took photos…which I will post tomorrow.
For a minute I tried to do the following calculation in my head.
No, scratch that.
For a half-a-second I attempted to do the following calculation in my head. And then I started sweating and grabbed a calculator. And even using a calculator I’m kind of pitting out perspiring.
See, in a previous post I mentioned I was working on a math problem based on something Martin said during our last reading.
He says this:
…the Bird Cage was the first place where I was able to work steadily on my magic act, six minutes at a time, four times a day, five on Sunday, for three years.
At first this doesn’t look like a big deal - and then you start to realize what he’s saying…three years of working on his act for 174 minutes each week. Huh.
Based on my extremely scientific calculations (I had to ask my coworkers how many weeks there are in one year, and I used a calculator (and a piece of paper and a pencil),) I deducted that Martin actively worked on his magic act for TWENTY SEVEN THOUSAND ONE HUNDRED FORTY FOUR MINUTES in those three years.
See the science here: 
This all goes back to my original reason for admiring Martin: the guy works his ass off.
Here’s what the listener has to say about it all:
Oh my god, that’s too much.
Although, I’d like to compare that to the number of times I’ve asked people if they want a copy of their receipt.
The listener came to work today dressed like a modern day Oompa Loompa. And we had an in-store visit from Willy Wonka.
Nothing to do with Martin. Just thought you should know.
